Doctor Obi | The 5 Great Dicktats of Art Based Medicine | Joseph Chikelue Obi | Royal QuackFather

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His (Most Majestic) Royal Eminence , The Supreme High Quack , Joseph Chikelue Obi , Hereby Formidably Disseminates the Following Great Diktats :

* There is No Such Thing as Science Based Medicine in any Basic Statutory Definition of Orthodox Clinical Medicine ; anywhere in the World .

* Orthodox Clinical Medicine is Predominantly an Art , Not a Science.

* Over 75% of Orthodox Clinical Medicine is Not Evidence Based.

* Over 99% of Orthodox Clinical Medicine is Not Science Based.

* If Science Based Medicine is currently being given such Undue Eminence ; then it is only right and proper that Art Based Medicine should equally be given Appropriate Prominence too.

By Unimpeachable Regal Order (of) :

QuackFather-in-Council ,

Quackingham Palace ,

Quackopolis Square ,

Royal Borough of Quackingham ,

Postcode Q1 DUCK ,

Imperial Realm of the QuackoSphere .


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* CLICK HERE TO READ HOW (GRAEME CATTO) A FORMER GENERAL MEDICAL COUNCIL (GMC) PRESIDENT (CHEEKILY) GOT AWAY WITH MEDICAL MANSLAUGHTER. *


Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi | Dr Joseph Obi | Professor Obi | Dr Joseph Obi

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Friday, July 14, 2017

Professor Doctor Dr Mr Joseph Obi


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>THE ADVENTURES OF PROFESSOR OBI : CASE STUDY 1 : STUDENT A

______________


'Student A' was a STAR CANDIDATE , in His Final Year of Medical School , when He Accidentally Enjoyed an Utterly Amazing Avalanche of Rampant Romantic Escapades , with the Secret (Long Term) Girlfriend of One of His Top Clinical Professors.

Although the (Highly Accomplished) Faculty Professor was (Happily) Married with Lovely Kids , He Had (Hitherto) Seriously Depended on the Extremely Beautiful Girl for (Emergency) Moral (and General Sexual) Support.

Since the (No-Nonsense) Professor had Formerly Served as (Honourable) Dean of the Faculty of Medicine , (Distinguished) Provost of the College of Health Sciences , (Renowned) Chief of Surgery , Revered (University) Deputy Vice Chancellor and (Hallowed) National Medical Council Board Chairman ; He was Ultimately a Very (Very) Powerful (Political) Clinical Figure (Indeed).

All of a Sudden , the (Hitherto Highly Intelligent) Male Medical Student mysteriously started Failing ALL of His Assessments plus ALL of His Clinical Attachments , and ALL of His Medical School Exams.

His Poor Parents were Totally Distraught , since they had Already Mortgaged their Family Home , simply just to Put him through Medical School , and were (previously) Hoping that he would rapidly take over the Monthly (Bank Loan) Payments , as soon as He Graduated.

. . . But Worse Things were Still (Yet) to Come . . .

A Grand Meeting of Top Medical Doctors was Hastily Convened , and (in His Notable Absence) , it was Universally Decided that He was Not Fundamentally Suitable to Ethically Graduate as a Medical Doctor.

. . . So , (Without Notice) , They (Unceremoniously) Kicked Him Out of Medical School , (in Total Disgrace) ; only few months before He was due to Formally Graduate as a Medical Doctor . . .

. . . Of Course , the (Rightfully Expensive) Top Lawyers , Senior Barristers and Eminent Solicitors then swiftly moved in (En Masse) , Loudly Quoting (Almost) Every Plausible Legal Statute on the Planet on the Student's Behalf ; but No Court (or Tribunal) could ever Overturn his Rustication . . .


A Few Years Later , while he was working as a (Part-Time) Pizza Delivery Guy , the Former Medical Student kindly stopped to Help a Tall Black Man ; whose (Outrageously Temperamental) Vintage Mercedes Car had suddenly decided to Go on Strike . . .

The (Ex) Medical Student noticed a Few Healthcare Books in the Back of the Car and they both started Eagerly Chatting about General Health Topics ; until the Vehicle Recovery Services eventually arrived to Competently Tow the Classic Merc Automobile away , for Appropriate Mechanical Repairs.

After Exchanging Contact Details , the Pizza Delivery Guy went on his Way and the Tall Black Chap got a Taxi and Headed Off to his Pre-scheduled Appointment.

Throughout their Discussion , the Former Medical Student never ever even Mentioned Medical School at all : He simply presented Himself as someone with an Insatiable Interest in Current Healthcare Issues.


Eight Months Later , I received an Utterly Disturbing Phone Call from an Excruciatingly Anxious Woman ; who was obviously at the Very End of Her (Human) Tether.

Her Only Son had just Attempted to Kill Himself , and She urgently wanted Someone to (Intensely) Talk to Him.

She claimed to have (Miraculously) found my Business Card in one of His Old Pizza (Courier) Jackets , and (After a Rather Quick Internet Search) , was Extremely Curious as to why He would Secretly have my Professional Card in His Pocket.


It Later Emerged that Her Most Precious (and Only) Son had just been Discharged from Casualty (ER) , as Case of a Patient who was 'Crying for Help'.

. . . And Cry Out To Me (For Help) , He (Most Certainly) Did.

Apparently , Over the Previous 5 Years , His (Ageing) Parents had Unsuccessfully Tried to get Him into Every Medical Shool in the Country ; as a Final Year Student.

Every Time , At the Very Last Minute , His Nemesis (The Super Professor) would Brutally Sabotage Everything , and (Decisively) Block His Efforts.

His Parents were Now Destitute (because of Him) , and that was why He sometimes (Half-Heartedly) wanted to End It All.

When He had Finished , I Reciprocally Told Him about My Very Own Life Story.

At the End of the Talk , He Firmly Realized that there was Still a Glimmer of Hope , Somewhere Out There ; for Him.


I Constantly Mentored Him , over the Phone , for the Next 3 Months.

After That , I frequently sent Him a Few (Current) Medical Books Every (Blessed) Week , to gradually get Him back on Track.

When the Time was (Absolutely) Right , I Comprehensively Assessed His (Professional) Clinical Skills ; and then (Carefully) Gave Him (and His Parents) Some Very Bad News (Indeed).


The Bad News was that I , the Amazing Professor Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi , had Woefully (and Spectacularly) Failed to find any Accredited Medical School on Earth which was Unreservedly Prepared to Accept Him Back into their Final (Graduating) Year.

BUT I DID , HOWEVER , (PATHETICALLY) MANAGE TO CRAFTILY CALL IN A FEW FAVOURS , from Some (Long Lost) Friends of Mine ; who were Perfectly (and Gallantly) Willing to IMMEDIATELY Accept Him directly into their Penultimate Clinical Year (Instead).

. . . HIS (LONG-SUFFERING) PARENTS ALMOST FAINTED (OUT OF JOYFUL DISBELIEF) . . .

. . . Today , He is a Fully Qualified (and Fully Licensed) Medical Doctor , who , sometime in the Year 2017 , (Proudly) Purchased a Tiny , Little , (Semi-Dilapidated) , Maisonette Apartment ; for His (Absolutely Fabulous) Parents . . .

. . . Alas , Sadly , The Pretty Young Girl , Above , Eventually Dumped the Top Medical Professor , plus All the Rest of Those who somehow happened to (Luckily) Find Themselves on Her Very Long List of (Utterly Besotted) Medical School Boyfriends.

She is now the Permanent 'Side-Piece' of a Very , Very , Wealthy Russian Oligarch . . .

. . . Unsurprisingly , The Emeritus Super Professor has Still Not Forgiven Me to Date ; and (Most Probably) Never (Ever) Will . . .



Alternative Clinical Professor | Professor Doctor Obi | Alternative Health Professor | Professor Doctor Joseph Obi | Alternative Medical Professor | Professor Doctor Joseph Chikelue Obi | Alternative Healthcare Professor | Prof Dr Obi | Alternative Medicine Professor | Prof Dr Joseph Obi | Alternative Care Professor | Prof Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi | Alternative Health Care Professor



ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE DEFINITION | COMMON QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS | DEFINITION OF ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE | 2O17

(A Very Simple Overview of the Big Definition of Alternative Medicine , which has been Universally Credited to Professor Doctor Joseph Chikelue Obi)



MAIN QUESTIONS

What is the Definition of Alternative Medicine ?

What is Alternative Medicine ?

How can Alternative Medicine be Defined ?

What is the General Definition of Alternative Medicine ?

What is the Best Definition of Alternative Medicine ?

What is the Most Accurate Definition of Alternative Medicine ?

What is the Modern Definition of Alternative Medicine ?


MAIN ANSWER

According to Professor Doctor Joseph Chikelue Obi , Alternative Medicine , (AM) , is Outrageously Defined as being :

" . . . Every Available (Art-Based or Science-Based or Religious or Hybrid) Approach to either Medicine , Therapy , Research , Care , Regulation , Faith , Spirituality , Learning , Health , Healing , Wellness , Prevention , Detection , Promotion and Wellbeing etc , (whether Holistic or Focused or Standalone or Supportive or Native or Traditional or Otherwise) , which does not Decisively (or Solidly) Fall within the Any of the Fundamental Professional Realms of either Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Medicine or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Advice or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Treatment or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Health or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Care or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Detection or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Diagnosis or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Prevention or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Promotion or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Therapy or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Research or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Regulation or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Evidence or Conventional (Orthodox Clinical) Learning (et cetera , et cetera , et cetera) . . ."


MAIN NOTES

Ever the Controversial (Political) Maverick , Prof Obi Sensationally Shocked the Online Clinical Fraternity by Quietly Publishing this Highly Explosive (November 2016) Alternative Medicine Definition on the (Highly Influential) LinkedIn Professional Social Network , rather than on his Public Google Plus Profile (which would have Globally Generated FAR Much More Publicity).

Sources Close to the (EMINENT) Top Black Politician are (currently) not commenting as to whether his Latest Move is to be seen as a Major (Retaliatory) Snub to the Whole Google Establishment ; after it Shockingly Emerged that (Certain) Google Staff in London (UK) had Secretly been induced to (Politically) Work Against Him.

For the Record , Dr Obi is a Fully Licensed International Medical Practitioner , (i.e a Duly Qualified Physician and Surgeon) , who currently Serves as Professor-in-Chief of the Alternative Medicine Campaign.

He can easily be contacted via either http://www.ClinicalAdvisers?.com , or through his Official LinkedIn Profile.


MAIN REFERENCES

Reference Link 1 : LinkedIn Article

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/alternative-medicine-big-definition-professor-obi

Reference Link 2 : LinkedIn Profile

https://www.linkedin.com/in/alternativemedicinedoctor


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Alternative Medicine Professor Boldly Seeks 100 Million Online Students


Alternative Medicine Professor | Joseph Chikelue Obi | Online Health Course | Wellness | Wellbeing | Self Care.


* * *

Attendance is 100% Free for those who do not want a Certificate (of Completion).

Those requiring a Certificate (of Completion) will duly have to Register.

Please (Additionally) Note that the Official Website Address of the Alternative Medicine Campaign , (otherwise known as the Alternative Medicine Clinical Network or the Alternative Health Campaign or the NHS Alternative Medicine Campaign or the NHS Alternative Health Campaign or the UK Alternative Medicine Petition Group or the Council of the Alternative Medicine Professionals Board) , is now formally located at www.AlternativeMedicine.me.uk . The Old Website Address has not been used by us for almost 2 years , as it has fully served it's due purpose.

A Wall of Honour is currently being prepared for Corporate Sponsors (and Donors). It will be Prominently Featured throughout the Series.

Kindly Contact Us via LinkedIn ( www.linkedin.com/in/alternativemedicinedoctor ) ; for further details.

* * *

Professor Obi | Online Alternative Health Introductory Course | Basic Registration Formalities | Step Number 1 | For those who wish to be awarded a Certificate (of Completion).

* Carefully Locate the Official Google+ Profile of Joseph Chikelue Obi ( at https://plus.google.com/104491754789336206831 ) ; and promptly add him to any one of your Active Google Circles.

The Importance of Adding Professor Obi to your Google Circles cannot be overemphasized , since most of the Assessment Questions may be drawn from whatever he (personally) considers to be Exceedingly Relevant at the time.

* * *

Professor Obi | Online Alternative Health Introductory Course | Basic Registration Formalities | Step Number 2 | For those who wish to be awarded a Certificate (of Completion).

* Urgently Proceed to our (One and Only , Exclusively Fabulous) Lulu eBook Spotlight ( at www.lulu.com/spotlight/obi ) ; and duly purchase the Home Study Course (Presentation) Pack , which is currently on sale for only US$99.

The Price of the Course may soon go up to US$499 (Without Notice ; since the US$99 Price is provisionally based on 100 Million Participants ). So Kindly Hurry !

Remember to keep your Valid Lulu Receipt as Proof of Purchase , or you will not be able to get your Official Certificate at the end of the Course.

* * *

Professor Obi | Online Alternative Health Introductory Course | Basic Registration Formalities | Step Number 3 | For those who wish to be awarded a Certificate (of Completion).

* After Comprehensively Assimilating Everything inside the Home Study Course (Presentation) Pack , and also Memorizing every little word on this Profile , you should then (Confidently) Visit our Official LinkedIn (Alternative Medicine Doctor) Profile ( www.linkedin.com/in/alternativemedicinedoctor ) to directly apply for your Free Phone Interview (and Assessment) ; which will be intensively conducted by either Professor Obi or any one of his (Registered) Wellness Consultants.

Each Assessment should not take longer than an Hour (60 Minutes).

* * *

Professor Obi | Online Alternative Health Introductory Course | Important Examination (Assessment) Advice | For those who wish to be awarded a Certificate (of Completion).

* Please Note that Successful Candidates will be swiftly emailed an Electronic Official Course Completion Certificate in the Name of Whosoever appears on the Lulu Purchase Receipt.

Only One Lulu Receipt will be Valid Per Candidate. Do not attempt to Share (or Fraudulently Counterfeit) It.

Each Receipt will entitle a Candidate to a Maximum of 3 (Phone Assessment) Attempts.

Not Many Folk will actually pass the Assessment on their Very First Sitting.

Those who Gloriously Succeed in their various Phone Assessments will then be able to duly upgrade to various other (Face-to-Face) Advanced Training Courses (and Apprenticeships or Seminars or Workshops) ; without the need for any other Prior Academic Qualifications. They will also (ultimately) be (vibrantly) assisted to (Lawfully) Set Up their very own Alternative Medicine Clinics and Wellness Centres.


Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi | Dr Joseph Obi | Professor Obi | Dr Joseph Obi

To Whom It May Concern.

Please be firmly advised that there is No (Explicit or Implicit) Statutory Mention (whatsoever) of any of the Following 8 Terms , anywhere within the attached Public Record (Death Certificate) of the Late (Apple Inc) Founder Dr Steven Paul Jobs (RIP):

* Alternative Medicine

* Complementary Medicine

* Integrated (Integrative) Medicine

* Homeopathy

* Uber - Quackery

* Obtuse Quackademics

* Quack - Slaughter

* . . . Or any other Highly Quackful Misadventure (for that matter) which could ever be construed by anyone of Sound Mind , Peaceful Body or Wholesome Spirit . . .

Please do not hesitate to contact me directly (via LinkedIn); if ever you have any further queries concerning this matter.

Very Best Wishes ,

Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi FRCAM(Dublin)

Chief Political Strategist of the Alternative Medicine Campaign:

(AKA : The QuackFather)

Downing Street Alternative Medicine Petition : Final (Closing Results)

The QuackFather | Joseph Chikelue Obi | Alternative Medicine Strongman | Emeritus Visiting Professor of Evidence Based Quack Medicine | Doctor of Strategic Political Quackery | Laird Chief Judge of the International Court of Quackometerology.



QuackoSphere Etiquette | Obi | UberQuack | OverQuack | Supreme High Quack

In Official Court Matters (of the QuackoSphere) , Proper Ways to Address the Laird Chief Judge are as follows:

Either

His Eminence , The Great Laird UberQuack . . .

or

His Eminence , The Grand Royal OverQuack . . .

or (better still)

His Eminence, The Supreme High Quack (i.e , The Undisputed Quack of All Quacks) . . .

*Please Kindly Note that is Exceptionally Disrespectful to formally refer to Joseph Chikelue Obi as simply just 'Quack' ; since that is a much Lesser Title which was officially used when he Gallantly Clobbered the Living Dayights out of the Quackometer Blog Owner Andy Lewis (plus his Tatty Little Hub of Skeptic Minions) . . .

The QuackFather | Joseph Chikelue Obi | Alternative Medicine Strongman | Emeritus Visiting Professor of Evidence Based Quack Medicine | Doctor of Strategic Political Quackery | Laird Chief Judge of the International Court of Quackometerology.



Chikelue | Joseph Chikelue Obi | Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi | Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi | Joseph Obi | Doctor Obi | Joseph Chikelue | Obi | RCAM