Professor Joseph Obi 'Acquits' Julian Assange
Just when we carelessly thought he had gleefully disappeared away (on Holiday) for a few (Hot Summer) Months (or so) , the Exceedingly Outrageous Joseph Obi is (once again) delightfully causing One Great Hell of a Massive Political Tsunami ; this time of (seemingly) Stratospheric Proportions.
In what can only be described as the (Micro)Blogosphere's Equivalent of Fifty Shades of Grey , the Cheeky British Politician has audaciously taken to Twitter , this time to Explicitly Outline a Very Long List of Legitimate Queries concerning the Massive WikiLeaks 'Sex-Rape' Scandal.
For Legal Reasons , we cannot comprehensively publish the Full (Unedited) Contents of his Epitomal (Qasi-Judicial) Rant ( which has already attracted almost a quarter of a Million Eager International Followers ) ; but those (of you) who duly wish to find out more (for yourselves) should please kindly visit www.obi-1.com , for a direct link to his Official Twitter Profile , plus additional online information concerning his 2014 European Parliamentary Campaign .
A Few Fundamental Excerpts (from Doctor Joseph Obi's Twitter Profile) are Ethically Included below (but please remember that Supervisory Parental Guidance is Promptly Advised at all times) :
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“Wreckless Rape Allegations can indelibly ruin Peoples Lives. We must (all) Calm Down & Think Objectively. I have No Time for Hype.”
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“Rape is a Major Crime. We were not Voyeurs during the Sexual Escapade between Julian Assange & Accuser X. Tough Questions Abound.”
“ How did 'Accuser X' manage to Permit Coitus while Awake & Decline It while Asleep ? ”
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“ Did 'Accuser X' put an Expiry Time on the Sex Permit which She Issued while Awake ? ”
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“ Did 'Accuser X' ever ask Julian Assange to Stop Copulating with her , at any Time ? ”
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“ Did Julian Assange ever refuse to Stop Copulating with 'Accuser X' , at any Time ? ”
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“ Was there a 'Limit of Insertions' on the Sex Permit which 'Accuser X' (Voluntarily) Issued while Awake ? ”
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“ Were there Fifty Shades of Grey on the Coitus License which 'Accuser X' (willingly) Issued (without Duress) while Awake ? ”
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“ Were there any Voyeurs around ; during the Messy Condom Drama between Assange & Accuser Y (who shockingly appears to be a Very Good Friend of Accuser X) ? ”
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“How could 'Accuser Y' (clearly) verify that Assange's Condom had burst ; without closely Viewing It ?”
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“ How did 'Accuser Y' (actually) verify that Assange's Condom had burst ; without him 'Uncoupling' Her ? ”
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“What if Assange (candidly) claims that he Did Uncouple 'Accuser Y' to Permit Examination of Pudenda ? ”
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“ Who can we really believe in this (whole) Assange 'Double-Rape' Case ; when there are No Impeccable Voyeurs (or Peeping Toms) who are able to Unimpeachably (and Competently) Verify exactly who is Telling Us the Truth ? ”
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“ Should Husbands now start SCREAMING RAPE ; whenever their Wives unilaterally decide to Erotically Stimulate them out of Sleep ? ”
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“ Should Men now start HOLLERING RAPE ; whenever Sex Partners (M or F) unilaterally decide to Erotically Arouse them from Slumber ? ”
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“ The Court of Joseph Chikelue Obi hereby dismisses ( X & Y ) Sexual Allegations against Julian Assange ; on grounds that they are Not Proven ”
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At the time of this report , it would provisionally appear that Dr Obi is not the only Eminent British Politician to publicly defend the Embattled WikiLeaks Founder ; who is said to be comfortably residing at the (London) Embassy of Ecuador.
. . . Further Updates are Coming Soon . . .
